So I am all alone tonight. Kim is off for a night out with the "girls," and Erin has long since fallen asleep to the soothing sounds of Miley Cyrus filling her room. I probably should have taken the time alone to do something more productive, but I just kicked back with a movie off of iTunes. I guess I am still riding the, "hey man, I just finished writing a book...let a guy have some downtime!" wave. It's probably going to be time to pack that excuse away soon, huh?
Even that aside, though, I am really in a weird place tonight. I'm checking my email at least ten times a day at this point waiting for my rejection from the super-agent I met at Backspace. It's a strange part of this business that we are so quickly conditioned for rejection. It's almost a relief in some weird masochistic way to get that little "no thank you" note. It's like, "Okay, now I can stop lying awake at night pestered by that stupid little optimistic voice inside my head hoping for the best."
Also, tomorrow is weigh-in day for week number four of my new major fitness routine. I've worked pretty hard this week--both with exercising and with what I've been eating--but still, that flat week is coming. Either this week or next, I expect to get on that scale and see the same number I did the week before. Like a draw full of rejection letters, it's just part of the process. Still, it makes for a pretty sucky start to your weekend.
I've been working on a new article for my main blog but something is just not connecting. I really like the overall concept, but I can't seem to get it to flow all together on paper. I am getting pretty close to the point where I usually scrap it and move on. It's a bit disappointing as I really like the idea...but I've really come to learn over last year or so that I can't force projects like this. If it's not there, it's not there.
So, that's where I am. Sitting alone on the couch, waiting for failure to knock my door and let me off the hook. Damn that sounds depressing...
